Compelling Conversations

Questions and Quotations on Timeless Topics for ESL learners and teachers

Archive for category Conversation Tips

Conversation Tip 5: What has pleasantly surprised you today?

Nov 8

Posted by Eric Roth in Amazon, Compelling Conversations, Conversation Tips, ESL, English class, conversation starters | No Comments

What pleasantly surprised you today?

This question often causes people to pause, reflect, and change their dialogue. It gives us a chance to remember some moments of satisfaction, and reminds us that almost every day provides some unexpected moments. “What surprised you today” works too.

But I prefer adding the “pleasantly” to counter dialogues that can run to the negative. This positive question opens up room in a conversation for people to express gratitude for what has gone right – even in a difficult day. We bump into friends while shopping, see a new plant or flower in the yard, read something odd on the internet, or receive an unexpected call. As the ancient Latin proverb goes, “expect the unexpected.” Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t.

What has pleasantly surprised you today? English teachers can use this question as a writing cue, during student-teacher conferences, or with co-workers. Students, especially at more competitive schools, can often feel great stress. Asking students about what is going right in their lives can help them focusing only on the negative. In fact, almost every one can use a gentle nudge toward away from stress and toward gratitude.

So what pleasantly surprised me today? I noticed a new review for Compelling Conversations on Amazon written from Europe. A satisfied customer in Milan, Italy – Siano Luigi “EMY” called Compelling Conversations “a great help!”. This English teacher and private tutor wrote, “I find this book to be a great help for conversation lessons. It’s full of questions/tips/quotes that help students to discuss together, in group or individually on all kinds of different topics.” Given my limited distribution globally, this warm review from far away counts as a pleasant surprise!

Gratitude, as ever, seems appropriate. Finding ways to increase our gratitude for our 21st lives makes emotional sense. Asking this simple question is my fifth conversation tip. Help build gratitude, and create better conversations.

What has pleasantly surprised you today?

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Reading Pleasures and Conversation Starters

Sep 11

Posted by Eric Roth in Conversation Tips, ESL, book reviews, conversation starters | No Comments

A new semester begins, new students enter our classes, and returning colleagues greet us. What can talk about that will go beyond the work-related activities?

Books.

Teachers, especially English teachers, love to talk about their summer reading. Reading remains a cheap pleasure and an excellent conversation starter.

* Can you recommend a good book?
* What did you this summer?
* What are reading these days – besides student papers?

Books and ideas still matter in our 21st century global culture of blogs, especially for starting conversations. Discussing books, sharing ideas, and exchanging tips helps elevate casual office chit-chat into more satisfying verbal exchanges.

In the past few weeks, I’ve enjoyed several satisfying conversations with my teaching colleagues – and a few more memorable conversations with strangers about books. How?

I looked around, noted the reading choices of folks, and asked a friendly question.

• Is that a good book?
• How did you choose that book?
• Can you recommend a good book?

Likewise, talking about books and reading pleasures gives us new information about our world – and insights into our friends and students. For longer, better conversations, you can ask the following questions:

• What’s the best book you’ve read this year?
• Who is your favorite author, anyway?
* How have your reading habits changed?
• Are you still reading Alain de Botton?
* What are you reading these days?

If you have time to listen, the answers might surprise you.

Our English students also enjoy talking about their favorite books and reading experiences. Here’s a link to a conversation lesson that I’ve had success with in high intermediate and advanced ESL/EFL classes.
http://compellingconversations.com/pdf/reading_pleasures.pdf

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Conversation Tip #4: Ask Questions and Take Turns

Sep 5

Posted by Eric Roth in Conversation Tips, Conversation lessons, ESL, Speaking Skills, linguistics, teaching tips | 1 Comment

Why state the obvious? Why take turns asking questions? Why ask follow up questions?

Common sense and social skills don’t seem to be universal. Conversation skills remain a vital soft skill that many scientists, engineers, shy people, and English language learners struggle to master. A key technique is just asking simple questions to keep a conversation moving forward.

Asking follow up questions can provide clarity and allow our conversation partners to elaborate on details. English teachers, especially when reviewing fluency skills, can introduce common phrases to help ESL and EFL students improve their fluency. Use these simple phrases to go beyond hello and create better conversations.

And?
So?
Where?
When?
How?
Why?
Meaning?

You can also encourage your conversation partner with simple phrases.
Go on!
Tell me more!
Sounds interesting.

Smiling and nodding your head also indicate interest and encourage your conversation partner. Yet asking follow up questions and turn taking remain key elements of a natural, satisfying conversation. Everyone in a conversation should both be and feel included, and asking questions remains essential in both superficial and deep conversations. English teachers can gently remind their ESL students of this technique as part of fluency.

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Are you prepared? Are you ready? Aren’t you nervous?

May 23

Posted by Chimayo Press in Conversation Tips, EFL, ESL, ESL/EFL teachers' resources, Speaking Skills, Teaching English in Vietnam, VESL, adult education, conversation starters, educational philosophy, teaching tips, workplace communication skills | 2 Comments

During the last hectic week of international travel and professional development presentations, I’ve been heard a few simple questions over and over.

  • Are you ready?
  • Are you prepared?
  • Aren’t you nervous?
  • Do you have enough time to do that?
  • When are you going to sleep?

Friends – and close relatives – ask these questions out of concern and curiosity.  I appreciate their questions and enjoy our discussions.  My confidence can lead me to underestimate the difficulty of  projects, tasks, and chores. I should manage time better, probably reduce my commitments, and prioritize more. Yet that’s easier said than done when pursuing multiple projects and working with people on different continents. I also like my work, and appreciate new challenges.  And I can draw on a considerable amount of experience as a  world traveler and English teacher. Despite approaching deadlines, I tend to feel strangely comfortable.

For instance, this week I left Los Angeles to begin a new position creating a Practical and Academic English program in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Packing for a ten-week summer trip takes considerable time. So does writing up detailed course descriptions, planning professional development workshops, and writing a high school graduation speech. Tracking Compelling Conversations book orders, planning website and blog changes, and interviewing ESL/EFL teachers also takes time. So sleep becomes a lower priority and friends keep asking those few simple, reasonable questions.

They are good questions and fine conversation starters too. In our often-hectic world, many people make the same “good mistakes” as me. As a result, these simple questions seem about time management seem timeless. English teachers can – and I’d suggest should – introduce these practical questions to their students. Business English teachers and workplace instructors, of course, frequently include entire lessons to personal time management skills. Letting students ask these questions and interview each other will also lead to interesting classroom conversations.

By the way,  despite my last minute style, I was actually quite prepared. I quickly packed, arrived safely in Vietnam and lead an engaging workshop on creating autotelic materials for EFL students.  Experience and expertise help – even on limited sleep!

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Worksheet – or Cheat Sheet – for English Teachers to Observe Conversations and Lead Class Discussions

Mar 2

Posted by Chimayo Press in Conversation Tips, Conversation lessons, EFL, ELL, ESL, ESL worksheets, ESL/EFL teachers' resources, Speaking Skills, Teaching matters, adult education, forms and worksheets, language schools, resources, teaching tips, worksheets and charts | 4 Comments

What do you do while students are having conversations or talking in pairs? Do you have a “formula” for taking notes? Do you focus more on fluency or accuracy?

Many English teachers, especially novice ESL instructors, talk more than ideal – and allow their English students to talk too little. Ironically, many ESL instructors make this “good mistake” because they are so dedicated. What, after all, are they supposed to do while students exchange ideas and practice their speaking skills?

When I taught an advanced ESL conversation class to immigrants and international students from many different countries at Santa Monica Community College, I developed a little routine.

First, I introduced conversation topics with a quotation or proverb and briefly introduce the day’s topic. Then I distribute worksheets (which became chapters in Compelling Conversations) with 30 or so questions, 10 or 12 key vocabulary words, and a few selected quotations or proverbs. Then students would be paired up to interview each other and share experiences for 20-30 minutes.

What did I do? I simply circled around the room, briefly joining in conversations, taking notes, and indirectly correcting students by modeling a better way to ask or respond to questions. I also jotted down key comments and “good mistakes” – both grammar and pronunciation – that I would later share with the entire class. Further, I focused on the content of student comments so fluency and meaning was more important than accuracy. Ideas and perceptions mattered more than perfect grammar.

These notes, however, helped me guide the classroom discussion because it closely echoed their previous conversations. It also lead to dynamic discussions because several perspectives were acknowledged and considered.

Taking notes also gave me a chance to emphasize certain sound groups or related word forms. While the students were talking to each other, I was playing reporter and taking notes.

Here is a reproducible worksheet that captures that process of monitoring conversations and leading discussions. Use or lose.

—————————————————–
Compelling Conversation Classroom Worksheet for Teachers

Topic: Pages: Date:
# of participants: # of groups: Room:

Opening Quote:

Opening comments to class:

Starting time for conversations:

Conversation content:
- What did you hear the students say? Summarize.

Follow-up class discussion questions:

Review Vocabulary:

Pronunciation tips:

Grammar issues:

Other comments/observations:

———————————————————

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Paraphrasing is an Essential Conversation Skill!

Jan 17

Posted by Chimayo Press in Conversation Tips, Conversation lessons, EFL, EL Civics, ESL, English class, Speaking Skills, adult education, natural English, teaching tips, tutoring tips | 4 Comments

Paraphrasing matters in conversation too!

Experienced English teachers know that students must learn paraphrasing skills for academic writing assignments. Likewise paraphrasing remains a vital skill for English language learners to participate in academic classrooms, everyday conversations, social situations, and commercial transactions.

The ability to re-phrase and re-state, usually called paraphrasing, allows English students to confirm information, accurately convey information, and avoid plagiarism problems in writing papers. As a result, paraphrasing is usually emphasized in English as a Second Language (ESL) and English as a Foreign Language (EFL) writing classes. Classes and teachers focusing on oral skills from academic presentations to simple conversations should also devote some attention to paraphrasing too.

English language students, whether university or adult and young or old, must learn to confirm information by asking clarification questions. This critical skill will increase their ability to collect information, avoid costly mistakes, and reduce their everyday stress level. Some useful phrases for a listener to ask include:

Are you saying…?
Do you mean?
What are you getting at?
If I understand you correctly, you are saying …
So you are saying… Right?
Did I get that right?

Speakers can also check to see if their group members and classmates understand their directions.

Are you with me?
Can you understand me?
Was I going too fast?
Should I rephrase that?
Do you follow?
Is that clear?
Should I repeat the directions?
Do you want me to repeat that?
Would it be better for me to repeat that?
Can I answer any questions?
Is anybody lost?

Asking advanced English students to repeat directions, in different words, can also be an effective group activity. The directions can be to a physical location (home, campus building, museum) or how to do something simple like finding a definition or sending an email. You can also extend the assignment by requesting detailed directions on a complicated procedure such as getting a driver’s license, applying for a visa, or choosing a new laptop.

Further, you can ask students to share an autobiographical story. Student A tells a story, and Student B retells that story with different words to Student C. This paraphrasing exercise also helps build a larger, more practical vocabulary.

Another teaching technique that I’ve found useful is asking students to paraphrase proverbs and quotations. This exercise, done in groups of two, is often followed by asking if students agree or disagree with the proverb or quotation. Of course, students have to give a reason and/or an example. ESL tutors and lucky English teachers with small classes can elaborate this technique to match student interests.

If English students can accurately paraphrase a reading, a radio segment, or a verbal statement, they can actively participate in common conversations and classroom discussions. Many English teachers underestimate the importance of this skill, and assume students understand more than they might. Verbal paraphrasing activities allow both students and teachers to assess listening comprehension skills in a natural, authentic manner.

Therefore, verbal paraphrasing deserves more attention in speaking activities – especially in high intermediate and advanced levels! Don’t you agree?

What techniques or exercises do you use to improve paraphrasing skills?

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Conversation tip #15: Seek to Understand

Aug 23

Posted by Eric Roth in Conversation Tips, ESL, ESL worksheets, English class, VESL, academic matters, adult education, workplace English, workplace communication skills | No Comments


Seek to Understand

Have you ever seen two emotional people talk past each other? Both talk and neither listen. Both want to tell the other, and don’t want to hear – or understand – what the other person is saying. This happens too often in stressful workplaces.

Stephen Covey, author of the international bestseller called “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, advises people “to seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Following this traditional wisdom can improve workplace relationships and communication.

What are some techniques that can help understand other people? Here are some tips:

  • Listen first and avoid interrupting.
  • Pause before speaking.
  • Look people in the eye.
  • Be curious.
  • Ask “what” and “how” questions to get more information.
  • Keep the voice down. Stay calm. Talk slow.
  • Repeat or rephrase what people say to avoid misunderstandings.

What are some other tips to avoid misunderstandings or conflicts at work?

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2.

3.

4.

What are some advantages of staying calm at work?

1.

2.

3.

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Conversation tip #14: Ask a question

Aug 10

Posted by Eric Roth in Conversation Tips, Conversation lessons, adult education, conversation starters | 1 Comment

“Do you want to know how to start a conversation? Ask a question, and listen.”

Robert Bly (1926- ),  American poet and activist

That’s not a bad starting point, is it?

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Conversation tip #12: Nice truck!

Jul 27

Posted by Eric Roth in California, Conversation Tips, adult education, conversation starters, public education, teaching tips | No Comments

Sometimes a simple comment leads to a delightful conversation.

Today I noticed a very, very old truck parked on the street while walking my dog.

“She’s as old as I am,” replied the owner from his frontyard. He soon came to the sidewalk. “Made in 1931.”

Although I’m hardly a car guy, we proceeded to have a rather detailed and informative conversation about Ford, Model AA, and vocational education. That ancient truck, donated to a local veterans group, still runs. The local adult education high school will help train mechanics on it – and restore it. Cool.

I have an old 1981 Volvo with 249,000 – and the antique truck owner, Deano, has several Toyotas with over 300,000. We both find something wonderful with quality cars built to last – unlike so many models today.

Deano, by the way, is a former high school teacher who volunteers at the local Veterans Administration (VA) hospital. You can’t help but respect a man who helps soldiers and veterans recover from war wounds – visible and invisible.

Friendly and folksy, I instantly felt comfortable with him and traded a few teachers’ tales. We shared a few frustrations with standardized tests too. We will, I suspect, have other fine conversations in the future.

A casual comment, “nice truck”, lead to a satisfying exchange. with a neighbor. That’s my conversation tip #12: make a sincere comment about a situation and be curious about your neighbors. You never know what you will learn!

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Volume matters – even in personal conversations

Jul 20

Posted by Eric Roth in Conversation Tips, Conversation lessons, EFL, ELL, ESL, English class, Teaching matters, academic matters, linguistics, public education, teaching tips | No Comments

Student conferences, especially with shy students worried about their grade or academic performance, can often be a bit awkward for both the professor and student. ESL (English as a Second Language) students, sometimes insecure about their pronunciation or vocabulary, can feel particularly anxious. ESL and other English teachers have to find ways to reduce student anxiety, provide a safe place for English students to speak, provide feedback on student work, and uphold academic standards.

In general, I find student conferences very productive and satisfying because you get a chance to really work with a college student on their writings and assignments. I often feel that I learn as much as I teach in these 20-30 minute student conferences.

Sometimes, however, I have awkward conferences. If the student has plagiarized, then this can’t be avoided. Those moments, which I dread, can not be avoided. So it goes.

Yet sometimes, as occurred last semester, an ESL (English as a Second Language) student is so shy, so timid, and so unsure that they speak so softly that I can’t even hear. Sometimes I lean forward and ask them to please speak a bit louder. If a student continues in the same low volume, I might apologize for my poor hearing and again request they speak up. What does one do on the third request?

“Please speak a bit louder so I can hear you.”

Was this too direct? I wanted to say, “If I can’t hear you, you will be misunderstood. I want to understand you. Speak up!!”

Patience, this time, paid off. The student raised her voice to an audible level, and replied, “okay.”

“Good to hear you,” I replied. We proceeded to have a productive end of semester conference.

English and ESL teachers at all levels, from elementary school and high school to adult school and university, need to emphasize the importance of student speech being comprehensible. That includes speaking loud enough that conversation partners, classmates, and instructors can hear.

Bottomline: students must speak up in conversations, conferences, and class discussions. Volume matters.

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