Have you seen Slumdog Millionaire yet? What about the Wrestler? Both of these outstanding films offer many poignant scenes, powerful performances, and excellent dialogue. Both movies should collect at least a few Oscars tonight.
Yet one often overlooked feature of both films remains their depiction of the allure and danger of crowds. A mob scene, fueled by religious hatred, leads to a brutal massacre in Slumdog Millionaire that haunts the main character. Unfortunately, as the recent televised terrorist attacks in Mumbai show, religious intolerance remains a huge problem both within India and between India and Pakistan.
Likewise, The Wrestler shows the pleasures for a star pe- whether as a wrestler or stripper – of a crowd’s attention and brief affection. Yet the film also discloses both the fragility of the crowd’s affection – and ugly underside that can emerge. Wresting crowds scream for righteous violence, pushing performers to both abuse their rivals and themselves to appease the calls for literal blood. How far have we really come since ancient Roman gladiators?
Further, both award-winning films show how individuals need to connect and overcome isolation. Authentic, private conversations offer a chance for characters to find solace, friendship, and love.
The Wrestler gives glimpses into the possibilities for a broken father-daughter relationship with seaside walks and talks. Yet it also painfully portrays the gap between vague intentions and actual commitment when a father fails to ask questions, listen to, and pay attention to his daughter.
In the film, the wrestler knows almost nothing about his daughter – and can only relate on a superficial role to role manner. Without giving away too much of the plot, the main character’s inability to really talk to and care about females leads to dangerous dependence on worshiping crowds. He could relate to groups of people – and his profession encouraged relating based on stereotypes. This failure to engage with individuals instead of abstract types causes many painful mistakes – and helps push the Wrestler over the edge.
I recognize that creating space for authentic classroom conversations, especially in a second, third, or fourth language is difficult. Private English tutors often form a closer, more natural bond while teaching English than many adult education English teachers working with large classes. That’s probably inevitable since numbers do matter. After all, tutors can tailor their private English lessons to their clients and allow natural conversations to evolve.
Yet caring, thoughtful English teachers can also carve out some space for students to express their thoughts and share their experience in both classroom discussions and private conversations. Conversation practice, however, makes English class far more student-centered and gives students a chance to learn by doing. In fact, I consider teaching conversation skills to be an essential skill for everyone – parents, children, immigrants, workers, wrestlers, policeman, and family members. Conversation allows us to learn about others, explore our own lives, and overcome loneliness. Just asking questions, listening to responses, and exchanging a few reflective words can deepen and improve relationships – inside a classroom and outside in the world.
Authentic conversations as the healthy counter to mindless violence of crazed crowds can be clearly seen in both Slumdog Millionaire and The Wrestler. Perhaps that message will reach some of the estimated 1 billion people watching the Oscar show later tonight on television and at parties. I hope so.
As Thomas Mann wrote, “Silence isolates… Conversation is civilization itself.”
Are you romantically involved? Do you match your partner? How do you know? Who will you choose to share your life with? Are you considering marriage? Are you already married? Use these questions as a springboard to reflect on your options, choices, and desires on this Valentine’s Day.
Here is chapter #33 from Compelling Conversations that many friends have told me is better for native speakers than English language learners or ESL classrooms. Perhaps they are right. On the other hand, I’ve had great conversations in my adult ESL and college ESL classes using this chapter too.
As both a happily married man of 14 years and the child of divorced parents, these questions seem like smart questions to ask – even for romantics on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps especially on Valentine’s Day when the official propaganda of “love will conquer all” seems so pervasive. So whether English teachers ask themselves, their partner, or their students these questions, I’d like to share this list on my blog tonight.
I’m also including a short videoclip from Discovery News that I found quite interesting on the origins of kissing and how that satisfying activity is believed to have spread around the globe. Enjoy!
1. Why do (did) you want to get married?
2. Do (did) you have a checklist of qualities for a potential spouse?
3. What are the three main qualifications on your checklist? Partner?
Provider? Lover? Friend?
4. When did you fall in love? Did one person fall first? Who?
5. How did you know your lover was the one? How did your thinking
evolve?
6. Did you ever have moments of doubt? How did your thinking evolve?
7. Do you think people should live together before they get married?
Why? Can you share some examples?
8. Are sex, love and marriage linked in your mind, or is each separate?
How are they different?
9. What are some endearing qualities of your companion?
10. Do you like your partner’s friends? Do you respect them? Why?
11. What advice have your parents and close friends given you? Your
extended family? How important is their opinion in your decision? Why?
12. Do you think you are marrying only an individual or are you also
marrying your spouse’s family? How would you describe your
potential in-laws?
13. What does your partner do that annoys you?
14. Do you expect to be the pilot, co-pilot, or passenger in the
marriage? Why?
15. What, if anything, would definitely cause you to divorce? Why?
Q U E S T I O N S A N D Q U OTAT I O N S O N T I M E L E S S TO P I C S • 1 0 5
V O C A B U L A R Y
Review these words and expressions. Circle the words that you know.
potential ……………………………………………………………………………………….
neat freak ……………………………………………………………………………………..
spouse …………………………………………………………………………………………..
nupital ………………………………………………………………………………………….
conflicts ………………………………………………………………………………………..
checklist ………………………………………………………………………………………..
resolve ………………………………………………………………………………………….
pre-nuptial ……………………………………………………………………………………
compatible ……………………………………………………………………………………
pack rat ………………………………………………………………………………………..
justify ……………………………………………………………………………………………
evolve …………………………………………………………………………………………..
P R O V E R B S
What do these proverbs mean? Can you share some other proverbs?
The needle is always accompanied by the thread.—Korean
Strange is the affinity that binds two in marriage.—Japanese
Whoever marries only for beauty will live in misery.—Russian
T H E C O N V E R S A T I O N C O N T I N U E S …
1. Thinking about personal preferences, do you like to stay up late or
get up early? Do you have compatible sleeping habits?
2. Do you have similar media habits? What about tastes in TV shows
and movies?
3. Where do you prefer to live? Country? City? Farm? Apartment?
House?
4. Are you a pack rat? Are you a neat freak? Are your styles
compatible?
5. Will you still love your partner when he or she is 64? Will your
partner love you with wrinkles?
6. Do you know an older couple that might be a model for a good
partnership? Who are they?
7. What activities do you enjoy in your leisure time? Will your spouse
join you?
8. Do you and your lover share spending philosophies? Do you shop
together?
9. Do you expect to live with older generations? Who? Why? Where?
When?
10. What is your approach to settling conflicts? How often do you have
conflicts?
11. Do you want children? How many?
N O T E S & Q U E S T I O N S
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12. Do you believe in birth control? Why?
13. How do you think your baby would look like? Why?
14. What kind of parent do you expect your spouse to become? Why?
15. Would you want your sons to be like the man you’re marrying?
Would you want your daughters to be like the woman you’re
marrying?
16. Do you expect to follow family or religious traditions? Which ones?
Why?
17. If disagreements arise about children, how do you expect to
resolve them?
18. Do you think all money should be shared or should each spouse
have separate bank accounts? Why? How do you expect to
manage household expenses?
19. What were the best gifts that you’ve given or received in the
relationship?
20. What passions do you share? What unites you as a couple?
21. Do you have a favorite photograph of you as a couple? Can you
describe it?
22. Where do you want to travel together? What do you want to see
together?
23. What are you looking forward to doing together as a married
couple?
24. How do you expect your life to change once you are married?
What are some advantages of being married?
25. Do you have any tips or suggestions on how to create and preserve
a happy marriage?
Q U O T A T I O N S
Which two quotations come closest to your attitudes?
1. “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
—Socrates (470-339 BC), Greek philosopher
2. “Man’s best possession is a sympathetic wife.”
—Euripides (480-406 BC), playwright
3. “I’m so gullible. I’m so damn gullible. And I am so sick of being
gullible.”
—Lana Turner (1921-1995), Hollywood star married seven times
4. “Love is the ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the
real with the ideal never goes unpunished.”
—Goethe (1749-1832), German poet, novelist, and scientist
5. “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an
institution.”
—Mae West (1892-1980), American actress
7. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
—Ali McGraw in Love Story (1970)
“Love is the ideal thing, marriage a real
thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal
never goes unpunished.”
Goethe (1749-1832),
German poet, novelist, and scientist
Q U E S T I O N S A N D Q U OTAT I O N S O N T I M E L E S S TO P I C S • 1 0 7
8. “Marriage: A word that should be pronounced ‘mirage.’”
—Herbert Spencer (1820-1903), English philosopher
9. “No matter who you get married to, you wake up married to
somebody else.”
—Marlon Brando in Guys and Dolls (1955)
10. “Second marriage: the triumph of hope over experience.”
—Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), English writer
11. “Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it’s a mistake to make a
habit of it.”
—W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965), English novelist
12. “A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too
short.”
—Andre Maurois (1885-1967), French author
13. “A successful marriage is not a gift; it is an achievement.”
—Ann Landers (1918-2002), American advice columnist
★
O N Y O U R O W N
With your class partner, list three celebrity marriages that have ended in divorce. For each couple who divorced, list two reasons you think their marriage did not last.
Then, list three marriages of well known people that have lasted
more than 20 years. For each couple, list two reasons why you
think their marriage lasted. Share with the class.
1. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………
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2. …………………………………………………………………………………………………….
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3. …………………………………………………………………………………………………….
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1. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………
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2. …………………………………………………………………………………………………….
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3. …………………………………………………………………………………………………….
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Talking about money remains problematic, but this conversation topic is more for self-reflection than classroom application. But please bear with me.
How rich are you? How much money would satisfy you? Americans, and many other people in consumer societies, sometimes seem to be pursuing a moving mirage of material happiness. The luxuries of one year become the perceived necessities the next year.
English teachers – and English language learners – are not immune to this problem. How rich are you on a strictly material level? Where do you stand from a global scale? ESL teachers continue to work part-time or hold two jobs, or even tutor English for extra cash. The economic crisis has only increased the sense of unease for many English teachers and English students.
Yet for Americans and English teachers feeling rather blue about our declining home values, vanishing retirement accounts, and questionable job security, this chart provides some useful perspective.
My score initially stunned me. (I was in the top 1% worldwide). While I have often been nervous about money, this chart reminds me to keep perspective. Of course, commonsense and a growing body of psychological and sociological research has documented the very, very loose correlation between material wealth and happiness – once the basic necessities of life are met. Satisfying personal relationships, long conversations with relatives and friends, and meaningful work remain vital essential for a truly rich life. The good life, as all the wisdom traditions remind us, means more than going to sleep surrounded by luxury goods.
So let’s make sure we find ways to create healthier, saner, and more satisfying lives and English classrooms in 2009 than 2008.
Easy English Times, an adult education newspaper for English language learners published in California, adapts a chapter from Compelling Conversations each month. The editors selected “Reading Pleasures”, one of my favorite chapters, to run in their November-December issue. Since Easy English Times focuses on the needs of beginning and intermediate ESL students, the editor selects the most accessible sections and adds dictionary definitions, creating a satisfying instant conversation activity.
Here is the Easy English Times Instant Activity for November-December.
Instant activity: Conversation
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Reading pleasures and tastes
The activities below come from a book for English as a second language learners by Eric Roth and Toni Aberson. The title is “Compelling Conversations: Questions and Quotations on Timeless Topics.” (See ad on this page.)
Exchanging views: Reading is a solitary* activity, yet it can bring people together in conversation. Interview your partner and exchange reading experiences.
1. What are some books that you have read and enjoyed?
2. Have you ever re-read a book? Which? Why? How many times?
3. Do you have a library card? Do you like to browse* in bookstores?
4. Have you ever been in a book club? What kinds of books do/did you read in the book club?
5. Did your mother or other family member read to you as a child? Did you have a favorite story? What was it?
6. Where did you first learn to read? At home? At school?
7. What were your favorite books as a child? Who was your favorite author? Why?
8. As a teenager, did you have any favorite books, comics, or magazines? Can you describe them?
9. Which magazines or newspapers do you scan now*? Why?
10. Who are some famous writers from your country?
11. Can you think of some movies that are adapted from novels?
12. Do you prefer reading fiction or non-fiction? Why?
13. Do you have a favorite writer or poet? Who?
14. Did you have to memorize any poems in school? Which?
15. Have your read any good biographies? Memoirs*? Self-help books?
16. Are you reading a book now? What is it? Can you describe it?
17. Do you think books and magazines make good gifts? Why?
18. What book are you planning to read in the near future?
Quotations: Memorize your favorite quotation and author’s name. Share it with someone.
1. “Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body.” –Richard Steele (1672-1729), Irish writer
2. “No entertainment is so cheap as reading, nor any pleasure so lasting*.” –Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689-1762), British author/critic
3. “The pleasure of all reading is doubled* when one lives with another who shares the same books.” –Katherine Mansfield (1888-1923), short story writer and poet
4. “However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act upon them?” –Buddha (563-483 BC), founder of Buddhism
5. “Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them all.” –Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862), essayist
6. “I would rather be poor in a cottage* full of books than a king without the desire to read.” –Thomas B. Macaulay (1800-1859), historian
7. “A book should serve as the ax* for the frozen sea within us.” –Franz Kafka (1883-1924), novelist
8. “Any book that helps a child to form the habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.” –Maya Angelou (1928-), American poet
9. “A truly great book should be read in youth*, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight.” –Robertson Davies (1913-1995), Canadian novelist
On your own: Bring in a book which is important to you. Show the book to the class. Tell them the author, the title, and the reason why this book is important to you.
VOCABULARY HELP*
ax – An ax is a tool for cutting wood.
browse – If you browse in a store, you look at things in a casual way, in the hope that you might find something you like.
cottage – A cottage is a small house, usually in the country.
doubled – When something doubles or when you doubled it, it becomes twice as great in number, amount, or size.
essays – Essays are short pieces of writing on a particular subject.
lasting – You can use lasting to describe a situation, result, or agreement that continues to exist or have an effect for a very long time.
memoirs – A person’s memoirs are a written account of the people who they have known and events that they remember.
scan – When you scan written material, you look through it quickly in order to find important or interesting information.
solitary – A solitary activity is one that you do alone.
youth – Someone’s youth is the period of their life during which they are a child, before they are a fully mature adult.
I love these monthly columns because they keep me connected to adult education and my decade of teaching immigrants and refugees in Los Angeles and Santa Monica. The atmosphere in those classrooms, where everyone volunteered and no one worried about grades, is something quite special. We were just adults sharing our experiences, insights, and languages.
Who gets to speak in class? Whose ideas count? Who chooses the assignments? How do students receive feedback? Do students have a chance to conference with their instructors? Can YouTube be a valuable source for homework assignment? Do you want your students to become self-directed – or autotelic – in their studies?
Here’s a quick checklist that ESL teachers that I created for a recent CATESOL workshop called “Techniques for a More Democratic Classroom”. My core assumption remains that giving students more opportunities to literally speak, write, and share their insights leads to a more engaging, dynamic, and valuable classroom experience. I will write more on this topic in a few days, but here are some questions to consider.
Who do you currently teach? How would you describe the students?
What are some of their personal interests?
How can student interests be better incorporated into the curriculum?
Which assignments do students currently choose? Which seems most successful? Why?
What are some benefits of greater student participation?
What are some risks of greater student participation?
Do you want to increase the number of choices students make?
What critical language skills can be taught by tapping into their interests?
How can you tweak current material to better individualize instruction?
What internet resources can you use to augment the current curriculum?
Which exercises or activities do you find most successful in your classroom?
What decisions do you keep as your prerogative as the instructor?
Will your students become self-directed learners?
How can you encourage that possibility?
How can you create a more democratic classroom?
What are some obstacles to a more democratic classroom?
How does technology encourage a more democratic classroom?
“Education is a kind of continuing dialogue and a dialogue assumes, in the nature of the case, different points of view.” Robert Hutchins (1899-1977), former President of University of Chicago and educational philosopher
Do you agree? Disagree? Why? Feel free to let me know.
I’ll post an article in a few days outlining some of my thoughts and sharing some materials.
How would you choose an English language school? What if you lived in Korea, Spain, China, Brazil, Turkey, or Vietnam? What factors would influence your decision? How would you find out the school’s reputation? Who ranks ESL programs? What is their criteria?
Hundreds of thousands of students travel thousands of miles each semester to attend ESL schools. These intensive English language programs, often affiliated at universities, provide an opportunity to study English, live abroad, and prepare for the all-important TOEFL test. Given the importance of English to the business, scientific, and political events, the ability to read, write, and speak English often seems mandatory to ambitious 21st century students.
Yet, like any consumer product, the quality of the schools widely varies. How would a student make a rational choice?
This question emerged as I spoke with several dozen international students this week about their resumes, educational backgrounds, and training in English. While this elite group of mostly graduate students had succeeded in the academic game, several shared stories of unpleasant experiences at language schools. Sometimes students found a huge gap between their expectations and their actual American classroom experiences.
The apparent randomness of significant decisions often surprises me. Normally, I consult friends and established rankings as part of a decision making process. Yet a single thin piece of information, or casual conversation, can easily alter plans. Still I remember systematically searching through numerous guidebooks while selecting my college.
Where can students looking for a quality English language programs abroad find this sort of information? Does TESOL have some list of approved or sanctioned schools? Does somebody else – perhaps even local governments – track the effectiveness of schools? Further, what is their criteria? Where can individuals – students, teachers, parents – get that simple, yet vital bit of information? Is any of this information available in English, instead of the first language?
I would suspect, especially for international students of considerable income, that there would have to be somebody who attempts to grade, evaluate, and rank ESL schools. If I was going to travel to the United States, Australia, or the United Kingdom, I would certainly want to know the quality of the program and teachers. Even I was just going to a local English school or attending a public adult education center, I would still check on the school’s reputation. Of course, recruiters provide some information too – often with a twist. Given the potential investment in money and time, I assume that guides must exist – and probably not in English.
The best English language source that I have found, so far, is a site called http://www.eslreview.org . It rates schools on a scale of 1-5 on teaching, location, housing services, price-quality relationship, and overall satisfaction. You can find basic information and read student reviews. You can also browse through the course catalog and contact the schools. This website review is a starting point, but not much more. The listings look like they could easily be gamed. They also don’t list school accreditations, average TOEFL scores, or hire staff to inspect the schools. Further, the list doesn’t include some prominent IEP schools in California. So it’s a valuable starting point to compare ESL schools, but it is hardly a Petersen’s Guide to IEP programs.
