• Are you ready?
• Are you prepared?
• Aren’t you nervous?
• Do you have enough time to do that?
• When are you going to sleep?

Friends – and close relatives – ask these questions out of concern and curiosity.  I appreciate their questions and enjoy our discussions.  My confidence can lead me to underestimate the difficulty of  projects, tasks, and chores. I should manage time better, probably reduce my commitments, and prioritize more. Yet that’s easier said than done when pursuing multiple projects and working with people on different continents. I also like my work, and appreciate new challenges.  And I can draw on a considerable amount of experience as a  world traveler and English teacher. Despite approaching deadlines, I tend to feel strangely comfortable.

For instance, this week I left Los Angeles to begin a new position creating a Practical and Academic English program in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Packing for a ten-week summer trip takes considerable time. So does writing up detailed course descriptions, planning professional development workshops, and writing a high school graduation speech. Tracking Compelling Conversations book orders, planning website and blog changes, and interviewing ESL/EFL teachers also takes time. So sleep becomes a lower priority and friends keep asking those few simple, reasonable questions.

They are good questions and fine conversation starters too. In our often-hectic world, many people make the same “good mistakes” as me. As a result, these simple questions seem about time management seem timeless. English teachers can – and I’d suggest should – introduce these practical questions to their students. Business English teachers and workplace instructors, of course, frequently include entire lessons to personal time management skills. Letting students ask these questions and interview each other will also lead to interesting classroom conversations.

By the way,  despite my last minute style, I was actually quite prepared. I quickly packed, arrived safely in Vietnam and lead an engaging workshop on creating autotelic materials for EFL students.  Experience and expertise help – even on limited sleep!

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Have you ever seen two emotional people talk past each other? Both talk and neither listen. Both want to tell the other, and don’t want to hear – or understand – what the other person is saying. This happens too often in stressful workplaces.

Stephen Covey, author of the international bestseller called “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, advises people “to seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Following this traditional wisdom can improve workplace relationships and communication.

What are some techniques that can help understand other people? Here are some tips:

• Listen first and avoid interrupting.
• Pause before speaking.
• Look people in the eye.
• Be curious.
• Ask “what” and “how” questions to get more information.
• Keep the voice down. Stay calm. Talk slow.
• Repeat or rephrase what people say to avoid misunderstandings.

What are some other tips to avoid misunderstandings or conflicts at work?

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4.

What are some advantages of staying calm at work?

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Style matters – especially when we talk with our co-workers, consumers, patients, and supervisors. English language learners, immigrants, and far too many English speaking workers sometimes forget this basic principle of workplace communication.

Consider the difference in how these requests sound.

Shut off the TV!

Please turn off the TV?

Could you turn off the TV?

Would you please turn off the TV?

Close the door!

Shut the damn door!

Close the door; I need some privacy.

Would you please close the door; we can’t hear ourselves talk.

Could you get the door?

Can you close the door?

Sometimes, especially in an emergency, it is appropriate to warn other people with a short command.

Call the police!

Help!

Shut the door!

Volume, tone, and context help us recognize an emergency. Imperatives, or short command sentences, are powerful communication tools in these situations. The speaker gives an order; we listen.

I. When would it be appropriate to give a warning on your job? Please give 3 examples.

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2.

3.

But, usually, we also make our requests that are not emergencies. We can – and should- give suggestions in a kinder, gentler way. Unfortunately, too many people pretend that everything that annoys them is an emergency and speak in a rude, impolite way to co-workers. This sort of harsh speech can even be abusive.

We can, however, use many words to make quick requests and polite suggestions:

May Can Could Would Should Might

II. Please write a request that you might give or hear at work with these words.

1. Can ______________________________________________?
2. May ______________________________________________?
3. Could _____________________________________________?
4. Would_____________________________________________?
5. Should_____________________________________________?
6. Might _____________________________________________?

Adding the word “please” makes your requests and suggestions sound nicer too!

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