Compelling Conversations for English Teachers, Tutors, and Advanced English Language Learners

Have you seen Slumdog Millionaire yet? What about the Wrestler? Both of these outstanding films offer many poignant scenes, powerful performances, and excellent dialogue. Both movies should collect at least a few Oscars tonight.
Yet one often overlooked feature of both films remains their depiction of the allure and danger of crowds. A mob scene, fueled by religious hatred, leads to a brutal massacre in Slumdog Millionaire that haunts the main character. Unfortunately, as the recent televised terrorist attacks in Mumbai show, religious intolerance remains a huge problem both within India and between India and Pakistan.
Likewise, The Wrestler shows the pleasures for a star pe- whether as a wrestler or stripper – of a crowd’s attention and brief affection. Yet the film also discloses both the fragility of the crowd’s affection – and ugly underside that can emerge. Wresting crowds scream for righteous violence, pushing performers to both abuse their rivals and themselves to appease the calls for literal blood. How far have we really come since ancient Roman gladiators?
Further, both award-winning films show how individuals need to connect and overcome isolation. Authentic, private conversations offer a chance for characters to find solace, friendship, and love.
The Wrestler gives glimpses into the possibilities for a broken father-daughter relationship with seaside walks and talks. Yet it also painfully portrays the gap between vague intentions and actual commitment when a father fails to ask questions, listen to, and pay attention to his daughter.
In the film, the wrestler knows almost nothing about his daughter – and can only relate on a superficial role to role manner. Without giving away too much of the plot, the main character’s inability to really talk to and care about females leads to dangerous dependence on worshiping crowds. He could relate to groups of people – and his profession encouraged relating based on stereotypes. This failure to engage with individuals instead of abstract types causes many painful mistakes – and helps push the Wrestler over the edge.
I recognize that creating space for authentic classroom conversations, especially in a second, third, or fourth language is difficult. Private English tutors often form a closer, more natural bond while teaching English than many adult education English teachers working with large classes. That’s probably inevitable since numbers do matter. After all, tutors can tailor their private English lessons to their clients and allow natural conversations to evolve.
Yet caring, thoughtful English teachers can also carve out some space for students to express their thoughts and share their experience in both classroom discussions and private conversations. Conversation practice, however, makes English class far more student-centered and gives students a chance to learn by doing. In fact, I consider teaching conversation skills to be an essential skill for everyone – parents, children, immigrants, workers, wrestlers, policeman, and family members. Conversation allows us to learn about others, explore our own lives, and overcome loneliness. Just asking questions, listening to responses, and exchanging a few reflective words can deepen and improve relationships – inside a classroom and outside in the world.
Authentic conversations as the healthy counter to mindless violence of crazed crowds can be clearly seen in both Slumdog Millionaire and The Wrestler. Perhaps that message will reach some of the estimated 1 billion people watching the Oscar show later tonight on television and at parties. I hope so.
As Thomas Mann wrote, “Silence isolates… Conversation is civilization itself.”

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Are you tutoring English students on speaking skills? How do you effectively teach speaking skills to a private English language learner? What will you actually do for 60-120 minutes together? How will you make the conversation lessons meaningful enough that your client feels satisfied and wants to retain you for future lessons?

Speaking English means being able to actually holding clear, comfortable conversations. Yet holding a conversation in English remains a challenging task for many ESL and EFL students. Personally, I blame an old-fashioned, grammar-obsessed curriculum for creating the common situation where students can recite obscure grammar rules, but can’t discuss their weekend plans or talk about the movies. Yet here we are. Students want to develop their speaking skills, but crowded English classes provide little opportunity for authentic conversations. Therefore, many English students hire English tutors to help them develop their conversation and speaking skills.

Yet effectively tutoring English students in conversation can be more difficult than it sounds. What does the student want to learn? What will you really teach? How will progress be measured? While sometimes younger students just want to talk and be heard, I have traditionally worked older, more serious students. Time is money, and money matters.

I strongly suggest you establish clear expectations about both content and business matters. Some tutors even present a written contract outlining their rates, the location and times of meetings, and payment policies. One of my university colleagues makes students sign a form allowing her to videotape the entire tutoring session for her research. Another demands prepayment for packages of 10 sessions at a time. I’ve never been that formal, but I have also never been burned the way some tutors have been. In fact, I’ve had only very positive experiences with conversation clients.

Why? Perhaps luck; perhaps because I carefully screen potential clients. I only work with professionals, graduate students, and/or friends and spouses of friends with a solid foundation in English. Be explicit about what you want and don’t want to teach a client. Be prepared to provide options for potential clients that you reject.

I also set very clear expectations. This process eliminates potential confusion and establishes clear benchmarks. We will review X number of articles and discuss Y number of topics during the next month or semester. We will cover a significant amount of ground in a comfortable, relaxed manner.

For students who want to improve their conversation, I strongly suggest that you select the topic and materials in advance. You can use newspapers and/or magazines to find appropriate articles to begin the conversation. I used to assign the articles a week ahead and give English students my conversation worksheets.

Partly as a result of these tutoring lessons over a few years, I wrote Compelling Conversations: Questions and Quotations on Timeless Topics. The conversation book includes 45 chapters with over 1400 questions, 500 quotations, and 450 targeted vocabulary words. The combination of poignant questions, vocabulary lists, proverbs, and witty quotations makes your job much easier. Each chapter is self-contained.
If you have a weaker student looking to improve their speaking skills, then I would advise using a picture dictionary. There are several fine choices. You might use the Oxford Picture Dictionary to open conversations, and I would be tempted to ask the client to bring in photographs and ads each week. Confession: I almost always referred weaker students to other English tutors who enjoyed working with lower level ESL students.

Naturally, you will need patience tutoring ESL clients on speaking skills. Be prepared to repeat words, listen very carefully, and remind students to pronounce word endings. Many students will want to work on their pronunciation. Recording your tutoring lessons can be quite helpful for students.
You can also ask/assign them listening activities on the web. I like Voice of America’s Special English programs for intermediate and advanced students. You will have to direct lower levels to websites to practice their listening and speaking skills with drills. They will love the work; you might go mad repeating vowel sounds and noting stress words.

Finally, the key to tutoring ESL students – or anyone else – remains respecting the student, meeting their needs, and providing a solid structure for your lessons. I have found that using a set text, developing a known routine, and combining conversation, vocabulary and some writing skills makes for a successful and satisfying experience.

As William Shakespeare noted four centuries ago, “All’s well that ends well”. Therefore, you should also have the grace to know when to end your lessons. Some clients will want to keep working with you. Yet you remain the tutor. Therefore, set a clear goal for your package of lessons, and conclude when the students have reached that goal. As the Hollywood cliché goes, “leave them wanting more.”

What are your plans and goals for tutoring English students this year?

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